Chapter 8 of #sorrynotsorry


                  Mr. Funny guy 
    After Damon I did a lot of soul searching about my sex life and well I decided to stop looking for my soul mate because he was out there somewhere and I knew someday we would find each other. I had to stop thinking every time I met a boy, ” maybe this one would be my boyfriend.” It took a lot of daily talks to myself and lots of yoga but I finally convinced myself to just have fun and to stop being so controlling about relationships. Couldn’t I just be that girl that could have sex with someone and not get attached. I mean I had done it before with Tommy and Mr. nice guy why couldn’t I do it again. I had to think like a man. It was so easy for guys to just have sex with girls and move onto the next one like it was changing their underwear every day.  I was going to think like a man and leave all feelings at the door, well at least try.  This is the Phase I like to call, No turning back. 

     It was now January and you know what that means?! South Florida Fair time that’s what! Lots of rides, games, fair food, and somewhat of a breeze in Florida. Maybe I should change my outlook on barf rides because potentially I could meet a very good-looking young guy at the fair and I was not going to pass that up. I was going to find myself a friend with benefits, and this seemed like the best first place to start. My friends and I were meeting up with a bunch of kids I hadn’t seen in a long time and there was a couple of new faces. And some of those new faces well, they were good- looking to say the least.

     The south Florida fair was fun except for the part where it was freezing out and I puked into a trash can. Yeah, so much fun. But I did meet a couple of new people and I really liked them. They were fun and had really good humor. And were friends with my friends, and I have no idea why I hadn’t run into them more often. About two weeks after the fair, one of the guys I met was having a bonfire at his house and he invited me. And well, this guy he was not usually a guy I would go for. But he was so funny and he could have me laughing for hours and I think that’s what initially attracted me to him. He was stubborn and loved being the center of attention. He kind of reminded me of me in a way. And maybe that’s why we got along so well. Let’s call him… Mr. funny guy, I know so clever right? When I got to his house with my friends I noticed a girl being a little too touchy feely with him. And I thought great he has a girlfriend. What a bummer but I didn’t really care that much, I mean he was a good catch so awesome for Miss. whoever she was. So, I enjoyed my time with my friends that night, taking in the laughter, drinking some beer and being together around a fire was all I really needed. When I left, I might have been a little too drunk, don’t worry I wasn’t driving, but I sent a drunk text to Mr. funny guy. There should be an alarm on all phones to stop us from drunk texting because it would definately save a whole lot of us from sticky or embarrassing situations. But any who I texted him. And it didn’t start off too bad. It went from me thanking him for inviting me to, “I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend?!” Which made absolutely no sense for me to ask him this question because I wouldn’t know if he did or didn’t have a girlfriend but either way I said that. And as I drunkenly waited for a reply, I was nervous to see what he could possibly say to my drunken outburst. But the reply wasn’t all the bad. Long story short she wasn’t his girlfriend they were just hooking up. So in my mind I thought there was really no competition after I heard that. Our conversation ended with him asking to see me again and well I didn’t say no. There was something about him that sparked my interest.  He intrigued me and I wanted to know more. 

    The next week he invited me over to his house to drink with him and some of our friends. And that sounded fun so I decided to go. When I got there he came out to greet me and his smile was huge as soon as he saw me, and I thought to myself I must of made one hell of a good first impression. He walked me into his house where I saw all of my guy friends drinking and having a good time. Mr. funny guy formally introduced me again to his roommate who I met at the fair but really didn’t talk to. He was nice also and good- looking but I didn’t really care that much about him because my eyes were set on Mr. funny guy at the moment. We drank and had a really good time. And then he asked me to go out on his roof with him. And I thought that was probably the cutest thing ever. Like something you would see in a movie. We would be looking up at the stars and then boom he kisses me or something cute like that. Ew, I’m such a girl aren’t I? In those five slow mo seconds of this thought going through my head I totally forgot I was afraid of heights. And as I  remembered this we were already at the ladder climbing up. I was half way up when I just froze. I was fucking scared I almost peed my pants. I screamed down to him that I couldn’t move because I was too scared and that’s when he talked me through it. And he made it seem okay and for some reason Just his few short words telling me he had me and I would be okay made me climb to the top of the roof. As I waited for him up there, my legs felt like spaghetti and I couldn’t get them to stop shaking. He finally made it up to the roof and he grabbed my hand and we sat down and just talked. We talked about a lot of things and he just listened like actually genuinely listened to everything I was saying. I can tell when guys could give a flying fuck about what you’re saying, guys eyes can tell you everything. His eyes looked interested in the words that were coming out of my mouth. I remember there being so many stars in the sky and I just looked up and watched them. It was a nice moment between two people enjoying each other’s company and enjoying the world around us. As I was looking up at the stars, he scooted a little closer to me. Ugh, I knew what was about to happen. What a cliché, boys are so predictable. He slowly put his hand on my face turning it to his instead of the sky and he kissed me. And it was a really good kiss. He was a great kisser I mean hands down one of the best kisses I’ve had in awhile. So far, Mr. funny guy was hilarious, charming, and a good kisser? Points for me! We managed to finally get off the roof after a long time of him giving me inspirational quotes to try and get down, he was always a witty one.

     After that night, we hung out like every weekend for the next month. And he had never tried anything with me and I was surprised but I knew it was coming. How long could you really kiss someone for until you wanted to know more about that person if you know what I mean. And this is where It gets awkward. I remember we were both pretty drunk and we were making out in his kitchen pretty hard, he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards his bedroom. I thought to myself this is it, I have the chance to say no and turn around but the hormones did their own talking. I was never really good at this whole friends with benefits thing because it just always got complicated. But I promised myself that this would not be the case this time. As I was led through the hallway to his room, It was like slow motion all around me. I knew what was about to happen and part of me wanted to turn around but the other side of me was stronger.  We got in his room and our clothes were off almost immediately. And I’d have to say the noises of our drunk friends right in the backyard was just a tad bit awkward. He pushed me onto his bed and he kissed me. He grabbed my face and the way he kissed me made me want more. This all came to an end very soon because someone drank a bit too much whiskey if you catch my drift. I didn’t actually know how to handle the situation. After that fail, We awkwardly put our clothes on and tried to make light of the situation. We exited the room at separate times thinking that people didn’t actually know what we were up too. As we went back out to our friends I felt so embarrassed. One of our mutual friends saw the clear redness beaming from my face so he pulled me outside and asked me to spill all the details. So, without exactly telling him what happened I gave him some clues and he guessed for himself. I will forever know the definition of “whiskey dick,” now unfortunately. That had never happened to me before ever. So, my first thought was that it was me. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to me, but then my friends informed me later of what happens when boys drink too much alcohol. I felt better after that. After that night I thought he wouldn’t really want to talk to me again. But he did and I wanted to hang out with him too surprisingly. Oh no, was I really catching feelings for this guy? Why couldn’t I just have casual hook ups and not get my feelings into it for once. Since we all had the same friends we were always together. And his house turned into the new hangout spot. The next weekend after our mishap it was round two. After a couple of shots, and blue moons later, we ended up in the same spot we were last week. He grabbed me and I already knew where he was taking me. He pushed me into his room and our clothes came off. Here we go I could hear the bells round two.  

    Round two was a fail also. This was just great I thought. We again rejoined the party and acted like nothing happened. The best way to fix an awkward situation is to drink more. So me and my gals drank like it was new years and some. I was so plastered I wasn’t able to drive and the solution that came to mind was to sleep over. I wanted to go home but I knew I couldn’t. Mr. Funny Guy walked me to his room, gave me sweats and a t-shirt to wear and I climbed in his bed. As I laid there waiting for him , mr. Funny guys roommate walked past the room and said goodnight Ali. He was a sweet guy. Finally Mr. Funny Guy came in the room and got into the bed. As I lay there wishing I was in my bed and thinking about just getting up and leaving I was too embarrassed too. What would he think about me if I just left him. So I told myself to just fall asleep and it would be morning soon. I probably only slept like 2 hours and as soon as 8 AM rolled around I was out. I grabbed my clothes as fast as I could and got the fuck out of there. I was never one to spend the night at a boys house it just always made me feel uncomfortable. 

    Weeks passed and I don’t know if I was bored or if I was starting to catch feelings for this guy. I mean he was nice, funny and gave me attention and apparently that does it for me. Gosh no wonder boys stereotype us. I mean look at me I’m catching feelings for a guy that I know deep down we would never be anything. But It’s comforting knowing that someone thinks you’re pretty, laughs at your stupid jokes and equally makes fun of you back. I ended up finding out that he basically just wanted to sleep with me and nothing more which is the definition of friends with benefits. Apparently I’m not the best fit for this kind of relationship. I mean it kind of hurt my feelings no one likes to get hurt but I also knew he wasn’t the right guy for me either. We stopped hooking up and to my surprise it wasn’t awkward at all. We still hung out like every day because we had the same friends. As time went on he was more like an older brother than anything else and I was okay with that. I didn’t need someone to give me attention or someone to kiss me late at night but its always a nice feeling to know that someone out there cares about you the way you should be cared about. But in this time of my life I was just having so much genuine fun with my friends that nothing really could bring me down not even the fail of our little fling. These people that I became friends with were always there more than any other group of people I had ever been friends with. We had each other’s back. And that kind of friendship is something I really longed for.  This group of people I chose to spend my time with made me a happier, better person. It’s a different feeling to have real genuine good hearted people around you lifting you up when you need it. If it wasn’t for Mr. Funny Guy I probably wouldn’t of met so many wonderful people and great souls that could have me laughing for hours. So, funny guy and I ended any kind of sexual contact we had going on. Which I was sort of okay with. As the days went on and everyone started to see me and Mr. funny guy were nothing but friends with no benefits, someone else started to move in a little bit closer and I was blindsided completely. Here is a lesson, stop looking for love it will find it’s way to you. 

Next Monday is the epic conclusion to my roller coaster ride I call the dating life. You are not going to want to miss this adorable, funny chapter ! 

Make sure to share and hashtag #sorrynotsorry 

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