God, dating makes me want to pull my hair out of my head. Like it shouldn’t be this hard, but my toxic trait is I over think way too much and somehow put myself in a coma full of anxiety, which totally is not healthy, I know this.
And I used to not be this bad, but it’s like if he doesn’t text me back…
Does he not like me, is he with another girl, did he die? Like all are credible ideas to wonder.
I wish I could be that laid back girl that doesn’t give a flying hoot but I’m not. I’m a little insane in the love department and it’s 75 percent not my fault. The universe has really not gifted me with any winners and those rotten apples have really spoiled my rational thinking when it comes to dating.
Liking someone shouldn’t be a task, yes it should be fun, risky and it shouldn’t be that easy. But it also shouldn’t be like the ground is lava and there’s no where safe to jump.
Games used to be fun, like when I was in high school and us 16 year olds had no idea what was going on anyways but now I’m 26 and games are pointless, useless and a giant waste of my time.
If I wanted to play a game with you I’d invite you over and play monopoly.
It’s the new year people of the single world! And with that said here’s how to not play a game of stupid in 2020.
1. Be straight up
Okay, for some reason this is so hard for people. I don’t know why. If you like someone tell them. Be completely honest up front about exactly what you want so both parties no what the F the deal is. There is nothing worse then going upon weeks not knowing what the status is between you and the person you are seeing. I know for guys most of the time you don’t care but for us girls… we are pulling our hair out trying to figure out if you like us. Because this day and age it’s, “clingy or annoying,” to ask or to define the relationship. If you feel like you are being annoying to try and DTR (define the relationship) he or she is not the person for you because you should feel comfortable to ask these questions. If you’re trying to just hook with someone tell them so they don’t get the wrong idea! It’s better to get all this over with in the beginning then to have drama later and for people to get upset when it could have been taken care of the first couple of times you have hung out. If you both have different ideas of what you want, their are other people out there that I’m sure you can find who fits the mold of what you are looking for.
Honesty is key people.
2. Text back
This one makes me twitch. Texting is so easy, it takes 2.5 seconds to respond to someone. I love when people say they were too busy or not near their phone. Now that’s just some Tom foolery right there. We are all on our phones, our phones are next to us, in our pocket, or our desk at work. Their are even apple watches now that alert you when you have a text. So I’m gonna need all you ding a lings to stop making a person feel crazy or unimportant because you haven’t mastered how to be a decent human being yet. Now, most of the time guys really are just playing video games and not meaning to not text back but if they are consistently doing this even after you have spoken to them about this… you’re going to take your happy ass out of that situation and stop wasting your time. Say it with me
Stop wasting your time 2020!
3. Make an effort
I don’t know who raised a lot of you these days but making an effort to show you care or like someone really isn’t that hard. It’s the little things. Go on a date, get out of the house, go to the beach, text back, FaceTime, send an I miss you text once in awhile. It’s the little things we really care about and what make us smile the most. If you think, “I already have them, I don’t have to try anymore,” well you’re 100 percent wrong. You should always be trying to get the girl or guy even if they are already yours. I am the first person who will tell you, that I get in my head about a lot of stuff and yes it’s something I can work on but when a guy/girl knows you’re getting in your head about, “do they like me, do they not like me?” And then reassure you in some way…. he or she is a keeper.
4. Listen to the red flags
Alright, sometimes I’m not good at following my own advice and it bites me in the ass but this one is so easy. I know sometimes that person can be so dreamy and you just want it to work out and you think, “oh I can look past all these things they are doing wrong.” But this is literally the universe trying to show you what you need and what you don’t need. Listening to the red flags comes with age. When I was younger I could care less that he was a complete idiot but now that I’m getting older I can easily spot the things I don’t want and it’s my job to walk away and let that shit go. Even if this person is nice, and gives you attention and looks great on paper. Adulting is hard man but the easiest way I can save you some heartache and time is to literally just listen and look for the flags because they are literally waving in your face 100 percent of the time.
Mental health is important and anyone that gives you anxiety or makes you downright unhappy or wonder about anything isn’t good for you. This is your year to be the best version of yourself and to not waste your time on anyone that doesn’t see your worth.
And what I will leave you with today is my favorite advice I love to give to people…
Give shits about people that give shits about you, the rest are not worth your energy.
Stay tuned next week!
Advice of the week: if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed it’s okay to take a personal day or week. Take the time you need to be okay!